Now I’m not looking for the President to betray his keen sense of basketball brackets–but considering that Broome County voted for him over McCain 52%/44%, you’d think he’d show just a little bit of Bingo love.  Like actually bothering to MENTION Binghamton as he filled out his NCAA bracket on ESPN this week.  But there he was, returning from the commercial break, with his entire first round picks ALREADY filled out.  "To save time."

For shame, Mr. President, for shame.  Duke had already been chosen on the board over Binghamton.  I watched the video all the way through, hoping we’d get a little Presidential love as Binghamton’s name occasionally bobbed into view on the whiteboard behind Obama.  And I took pride in the fact that the President had, for a fraction of a second, considered the Binghamton Bearcats.  And then, apparently, judged them unworthy.

But wait!  Was it just a pure case of favoritism??  Upon further research—(which was particularly necessary, because I know NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING, about basketball)—I discovered that Obama’s personal aide is none other than former Duke team captain Reggie Love!  For BIGGER shame.  Love was a forward for Duke when they took the 2001 NCAA national championship and it became a tradition for him and Obama to shoot hoops during every primary in the 2008 season.

So I’ll just assume THAT’S why Obama chose Duke.  That, plus Obama won North Carolina by a razor-thin 14,000 vote majority.  Isn’t it a little early to be suring up re-election, Mr. President?  That’s what I thought.

OK, I’m frankly not a big fan of “cute” things; puppy dogs, baby dolls, anything that makes people scrunch up their face and go “awwwwww”—gag me.  But I know that some of you have that whole “sentimentality” defect going on.  So with that in mind, I bring you this saccharine-coated story—don’t let it be said that I don’t have a heart.  Or at least pretend to have one when it gets me play.

Yesterday morning, at approximately 10:50 AM, the Binghamton Fire Department rescued a dog from the Susqehanna River.  The dog’s owner had been walking him when he decided to follow a flock of seagulls into the water–the dog, not the owner.  (BTW, I’m a much bigger fan of cats.  A cat would NOT have followed a flock of seagulls into an icy river.  Cats are smarter.  And bitchier.  Which I DEFINITELY like.)

The Binghamton Fire Department sprung into action, using a special “ice-rescue suit” to pull the dog out of the water.  OK, that part is cool.  I like that the fire department has a whole special suit just dedicated to ice rescues.  Now I know that it’s safe to go kayaking in the middle of January.

(PS, BingPop.com will not be held responsible if you get killed trying to kayak in the middle of January.  It’s called satire, putz; look it up.)

Anyway, there you are.  It’s BingPop’s “Feel Good Story of the Year”.  Hope you can wait another 365.

BTW, a few weeks ago, we heard through the grapevine that the Dept declined to rescue a cat from a tree out of concerns for the safety of its firefighters.  I actually think that’s pretty darn smart.  But because stirring the pot is just more fun than just acknowledging good policy, I asked the city’s Community Relations Director, Andrew Block, why…

“It’s Fire Department protocol to carry out practices for which it trains, and river rescues – including from frigid waters – constitute one of these practices; coincidentally, the Dept. conducted river rescue last training just a week ago. Therefore, it was within their protocol to conduct [yesterday’s] dog rescue.

By contrast, it is outside and counter to protocol to attempt dangerous practices for which the department does not train or have the necessary equipment, and tree rescues constitute just such a practice. Hence, the Department refrained from attempting to take the cat from the tree a few weeks back.

In sum, safety is our top priority, and our protocols reflect the best level of safety we are able to provide to the community.”

That’s all fine and well, but not very scandalous.  When I tell the story at cocktail parties, my version will be that Andrew Block hates cats.

I love food.  So maybe that’s why I found two bizarre stories on the Internet today about food.  Chocolate and sushi.  Yum.  (Plus, ever since Sake-Tumi opened on Court Street, I’m a little obsessed with Sushi.)

First, the chocolate:
There are some people in this world who go to restaurants, cafes, and coffee shops—not because they like to eat/drink the things sold there—but because they like to abuse the people working there.  This is a very human impulse—but one I avoid, because I don’t like people to spit in the things that I eat.

Those people are often (understandably so) frustrated by vending machines—being that they have no spirit to break.  Certainly, you can kick it.  You can rock it back and forth in anger.  But—having no free will—it seldom tries to kill you in return.  Yes, yes, rocking the machine may result in your death; but it’s probably not the vending machine’s intention.

Thank God the good people at Kit-Kat have found a solution.  Human vending machines.  It’s all part of the brilliant “Working Like a Machine” promotion they’ve hatched in the UK.  The idea is that “you work like a machine all day.  And you need a break.  Because you’ve got pent up rage.  So go kick a human vending machine.”

I may have made up some part of that quote.

These human Kit-Kat dispensers will turn up in limited numbers on London street corners, and are sure to create lots of viral Internet buzz.  Now this idea was stolen from the Japanese—a people known for superior technological innovation; who have now apparently decided that electronics really SHOULD work by just sticking little people inside.

Oh, and about that sushi story…
The Japanese version of MSN.com is reporting that a sushi chef has whipped up a little thing that I like to call “Hope-ushi”.  OK, not really catchy.  But you come up with something better.

I totally approve of this trend of basing foodstuff on our political leaders.  And not just naming sandwiches after them.  Been there, done that; BOOOR-ING.  Rumor has it, there’s a cocktail at Tranquil named after County Executive Fiala.  Are you listening, Sake-Tumi?  How about the “Mayor Ryan Roll”.  “The Libous-licious Roll”.  K, that’s a stretch.  But I’m telling you, somebody should make this stuff happen.  Fuji San?  Kampai?

BTW, week three, and the stale Obama Toast that I bought off of E-Bay still isn’t moldy.

*cry* It’s true; Governor Patt has ditched the Bing for a better offer from the President.  WhatEVER. As if a few hours in the White House with the most popular prez since… um… well, has there ever been a more popular president?   Anyway, it’s as if hanging out with him is somehow cooler than chillin in the BCC gym.  It’s FINE!  We don’t need the governor to have a kick-ass Wednesday.  We’ll go cry into our soup.

The oh-so-grand opening of Amera’s Cup O Soup (58 Henry) is goin’ down at 1 this afternoon.  He’s got an extra-special buffet planned and–well—ya know, soup.  If you haven’t stopped by Amera’s yet, it’s really got the best soup in town.

BTW, the Gov has rescheduled for next week: Feb 11th–as long as nobody cooler gives him a ring first.  And if you’ve already RSVPed, you don’t need to do it again.  But even if you have, it’s first come, first serve.