Flashmobs are a lot less dangerous then they sound.  Really.  But if I’d never heard of one, I’d personally avoid it at all cost.  Seriously, who decided to combine the phrases “flash flood” and “angry mob” and thought that people would come running to take part?

But come running they have.  In fact, if you were jogging down the Vestal Rail Trail behind the Parkway Subway on Tuesday night, you’ve already seen a flashmob in person.

But let’s go back to basics.  For those of you who have been living in a hole for the last 5 years and are just discovering the ‘interweb’ for the first time, “What is a flashmob?” Wikipedia, clearly the most reliable reference material ever conceived of by man, defines a flashmob as “a large group of people who assemble suddenly in a public place, perform an unusual and pointless act for a brief time, then disperse.”

That’s right, my friends, flashmobs are the Seinfeldian cousin of the political rally.  People assemble for no reason whatsoever, perform a task that has no intrinsic value, and then disassemble to no place in particular—although, realistically, they probably disassemble to get plastered at a pub down the street.  (After Tuesday night’s Rail Trail flashmob, a few of us reassembled at the outdoor seating of the Vestal Uno’s, apparently chosen because “it has more shrubbery than the outdoor seating of the Vestal TGI Friday’s.”)

The first successful flash mob, legend has it (and by ‘legend’, I again mean Wikipedia), was held at a Manhattan Macy’s June 3rd, 2003.  A group of 100 participants assembled around a giant rug on the 9th floor of the department store and, when approached by bewildered salespeople, explained that they “all lived together in a warehouse loft and searching for a ‘loverug’ large enough to accommodate the entire group”.

Since then, flashmobs have evolved into everything from mass pillow fights in urban parks and silent discos in underground subways to massive reenactments of Michael Jackson videos.  The silent disco—one of my favorite kinds of flashmob—involves gathering a large groups of people into one place with IPods and headphones who then listen to their own favorite song and dance about wildly in anything but unison.  A flash mob true-ist will tell you that a flashmob MUST be organized on the Internet by a group of volunteers bent on doing nothing more than having a senselessly good time.  They’ll tell you that a publicity stunt planned by a corporate marketing department DOES NOT COUNT; nor does Oprah’s giant staging of the Black Eyed Peas track “I Gotta Feeling”.

What’s perhaps most unusual about the flashmobs that have cropped up in Greater Binghamton over the past few weeks is that they’re all organized by a church: Grace Adventure.

Grace Adventure bills itself as a “church without a building”.  A recent e-mail from the church’s pastor, Annette Snedaker, goes something like this: “We all know that young adults are a missing population in today’s churches.  Let’s face it: the population in general, is declining in churches.  But yet, the world needs people reaching out to others in love and compassion more than ever!  So… there are a group of us trying to do something that will bring young adults back to talking about their spirituality, and making a difference in the community in non-traditional ways and spaces.”

And to get rolling, Grace Adventure has staged two “freeze mobs”.  One at Spiedie Fest and the other at the Rail Trail.  A freeze mob is a form of flashmobbing wherein participants synchronize their watches, stroll casually into a public place, and then all freeze at the exact same moment.  After a few minutes, they all unfreeze and proceed about their business as if nothing unusual has happened.  Check out this very famous freeze mob at Grand Central Station to get acquainted…

Now the Grace Adventure people have chosen to flashmob for a cause.  A different cause each time.  Their Spiedie Fest mob was designed to support CHOW; participants were asked to bring canned food before they took part.  And their Rail Trail mob was held to support the Southern Tier AIDS Program’s “Dog Gone Fun on the Run”.  People were asked to bring pet food or doggie toys to the event.  To give STAPs event the extra push, many of the freezers stood still with Doggone flyers in hand.

I’m gonna make an admission here: I had my doubts about the Rail Trail flash mob. For one thing, you need a critical mass of non-participants to make these things work.  Luckily, the good weather had brought out a decent amount of early evening strollers, runners, and dog-walkers.  My other concern was that we only had about 20 people there to take part.  But what I realized right away is that ANY out-of-the-ordinary behavior interrupting somebody’s early evening routine gets attention pretty quick.  Even if the interruption only comes from one nutball.  Now multiply that effect by twenty.

One two-some from our group held a freeze-frisbee game in the middle of the path.  A family stood off to one side, all in a row, as if frozen in the middle of their afternoon walk.  And as you might expect, half the fun is watching the spectators—which ones turn their head, which ones stop to look, and which ones, faced with the unexpected, try to ignore the event as if doing so would stop it from happening.

Grace Adventure isn’t content to stop with Flashmobs.  They’ve got a whole slate of non-traditional church events planned, including “Theology on Tap” at Kelly’s in Endicott, an “open house” held at Mad Mouse Saloon, and a “Teahouse Talk” at Vestal’s famous bubble tea joint behind Denny’s.

Annette Snedaker took a moment away from planning the future of religion as we know it to answer a few questions about freezemobs and other fun nonsense…

So I missed the Spiedie Fest Flash Mob; how did it go?  What was the idea there?
Hilarious!  6 folks from Grace Adventure showed up and then we recruited about 15 high school students there. The things people say as they walk by a group of "frozen" people is quite funny!  They say things such as, "Do you think she will move if I….(fill in the blank)"  The Spedie Fest mob was for CHOW.  Everyone brought a non perishable food item.  We decided on CHOW because we realize people have been hard hit with the economy the way it is right now. 

Where’d you get the idea for the mob. Any particular stunt you saw on the Internet inspire you?
The idea of a mob came out of the fact that I was a youth leader a year ago and my youth group talked about doing one.  I looked it up on You Tube and decided it was a great idea.  Unfortunately, we never did one as a group, but I forwarde the idea to Grace Adventure.  I hope some of them come do one with us!  We would love to do a dancing mob someday like the one that took place in Grand Central Station.

How have people reacted so far?
I’m not sure if you mean to the mobs or to Grace Adventure.  To the mobs…people think its a fresh, easy, and fun way to bring awareness to a cause.  Folks are excited to get out there and make a difference in unique ways.  Its a way to do something for the community that leads to laughter, meeting new people, and making a difference.  People want to help, but sometimes they don’t know where to begin.
To Grace Adventure, people have reacted very positively.  Honestly, the fact that we are a church still scares people.  There is a lot of "baggage" with the word and organization we call church.  Sometimes people say, "I’m not a church person" or "I’m not religious."  So I’ll ask, "What does that mean?"  A lot of times it means they feel they will be judged, not that they don’t belive in a God.  It’s so sad and awful that church has the reputation of judging and building barriers, but I understand why.  I have seen church hurt people;  People I love and care about.  So Grace Adventure is trying to break those barriers down!  The church has done a lot of good in this world too!  So the more I get to know someone and once they start meeting people on the Grace Adventure team, they see that we really are a group of people trying to do good, but are not set on one way of believing, talking about God, or practicing spirituality.  There are more people then one might think who are looking for some type of faith/"do-good" experience in their life, but would never find what they need in a traditional church.  Honestly, as a pastor, I am much more comfortable outside a traditional church as well…probably for the same reasons a lot of other people are. But I believe there is a God calling us to lend one another a hand.  (But do I think God is a guy?  Heck no!  Do I believe the Bible is the infallible word of God?  Nope.  It was written by men who, just like you and I, were on a faith journey trying to describe and learn from their own experiences.  So there is a lot to learn from it, but also a lot that is completely irrelevant to our lives today).

Does your idea of building the church through community involvement have a model?  Another church?
A model?  I have researched and been trained in starting a new church; however, I do not know of any other church that has no building.  As far as I have heard, Grace Adventure is the only church I know who NEVER wants to be put in a building.  Office space?  Maybe.  That sure would help me find my dining room table.  But a building where we gather?   Not in our future!  We want to guarantee ourselves and the community that we will always be present and active…doing what our God calls the church to do, which is to get off our butts, get to know the community around us, and try to meet their needs.  Church is something we should DO…NOT a place where we go. 

Besides Flash Mobs, what other adventures do you have up your sleeve?
Up our sleeves?  Haha!  We have ideas coming out our pant legs too!  We are really excited about the upcoming Theology on Tap, Alzheimer’s Walk, Doggone Fun Run, CHOW walk, a flash mob on Veteran’s Day to benefit another undecided organization, mission trips to NYC, Arkansas, and other places. We have an Open House coming up for people to come check us out.  We will offer free pizza and soda.  Its at the Mad Moose on August 31 and our band will be playing known tunes from Lady Antebellum to U2.  Join us for a bite to eat and to meet the Grace Adventure team!  We have a lot more ideas, but we are about 20 people strong right now.  Once more people come on board, we will be able to do more!

I’m a little bullsh*t about virtual reality.  Seriously.  I mean, come on, it’s been like 20 years.  Where is my VR mansion?  My virtual trip in an X-Wing?  Why aren’t I sleeping with virtual people that are way out of my virtual league?

Yeah, I’m bullsh*t about VR.

Technology moves too slowly; Who’d have thought the most exciting development in the last five years would basically be a stylish pocket protector that makes phone calls and tells you which Britney Spears song you’re listening to on the radio.

PS, I don’t know what it says about modern-day songwriting that you need a decoder device to figure out the name of the song you’re listening.

Anyway, that’s why I got so excited when I found out the next BIG step in virtual reality is happening right here in Bingo.

And it’s not the giant hamster ball it looks like.

It’s a helluvalot more.

The VirtuSphere, or as I prefer to think of it, your next birthday gift to me, is a Virtual Reality interface that can allow you to immerse yourself in just about any environment you can think of.

It’s a bit like Star Trek’s Holodeck.  Only significantly less likely to malfunction, develop an artificial intelligence, and try and kill you.

What makes VirtuSphere DIFFERENT from the VR tech you’ve already seen is that you can actually walk in the thing.  Like, put one foot in front of the other.  You know, like people in big cities used to do before they had Segways.

OK, that may not SEEM like that big a deal, but when Nintendo Wii’s single-biggest selling point has become that it’ll make your kids be a little less fat and lazy, a VR environment that requires honest-to-God locomotion seems like a good idea.

And it IS exercise.  Or at least, it can be if you try hard enough.  Jim DiMascio, Virtusphere’s COO, demonstrated that with a little practice, you can run your ass off in the thing.  After 2 or 3 minutes, he had to stop, a bit breathless, and grab a glass of water.

The applications are pretty much limitless.  Jim and his partners see a military use; Units could be trained in a virtual Afghanistan so they have a sense of what it’s like to move around a real Middle Eastern city before they head overseas.  Army doctors could use a virtual re-enactment of psychologically scaring events to treat Post Traumatic Stress.  The VirtuSphere folks are teaming up with third-party software developers to make all that happen.  It’s pretty fantastic that the effort is being led right here in Binghamton.

Plus, I got to use it to play a Russian video game that involved blowing up killer pumpkins from outer space.  Or they might have been mutant radioactive pumpkins from a nuclear waste site.  Or they might have been killer mutant radioactive pumpkins from a nuclear waste site in outer space.

I’m not entirely certain.  But pumpkins were involved.

And there’s something that’s just more exciting about being able to use your entire body to move around in a game.  For the first few moments, I stood in place blasting pumpkins.  But after a little while, I started running after them.  And the game was somehow immediately more… fun.  Can’t explain why; it just was.
 
That’s not to say moving inside VirtuSphere isn’t a bit disconcerting in the beginning—like the first time you pick up a 37-button PlayStation controller.  There’s an adjustment period.  Just to practice, Jim asked me to walk in the sphere without the headset.  It’s pretty weird to be walking and not actually moving anyplace.  It got better when I put the head gear on.  As I took steps inside the sphere, it rotated around me, moving me through the virtual world in my headset.  Very cool.

Stopping took some getting used to as well.  When I stop in real life, the ground tends to stop at pretty much the same time.  But the momentum of the sphere creates a delay when you stop moving in VirtuSphere—the ball continues for a second on its own.  You learn to slow down first.

So after getting my first little taste of Binghamton-born Virtual Reality, I wanted to know when the masses would get a shot.  Jim DiMascio and I sat down for a serious chat about exploding radioactive pumpkins…

We’ve been promised cool virtual reality tech for soooooooooooo long; why isn’t it really here yet and when will we all have it in our houses?

Virtual Reality simulation is here and Virtusphere is a locomotion interface that allows users to become an avatar and play INSIDE a video game. One of the renown professors of Virtual Reality, Dr. Thomas Furness of the University of Washington was quoted, “Virtusphere comes closer than most to the Holodeck of Star Trek fame”. We are currently marketing Virtusphere to the entertainment market which include major theme parks, Las Vegas hotels & resorts, malls and other related entertainment centers globally.  Virtusphere can also provide combat simulation training for the US Army and Marines infantry soldiers, we would never send a pilot into combat without simulation training and we now have the first locomotion simulator for the soldiers on the ground. It will be a few more years but it our goal to eventually make Virtusphere affordable for home use.
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Some robots like to morph into a human form and shoot you (like in T2).  Some robots like to take over your spacecraft and shoot you (like in Battlestar Galactica.)  Some robots like to have identical evil twin brothers that shoot you with phasers (Star Trek).  And still some other robots will terminate your life functions while you lie helpless in suspended animation (2001).

If sci-fi has taught us nothing else, it’s that your robot will kill you one day.  (It’s good to see that the US military is putting this lesson to good use in Pakistan; I can’t imagine any way THAT little technology could go awry.)

So that’s why it’s probably appealing that somebody has created a robot too dumb to kill anybody.  It’s called the tweenbot.  Which in some obscure language must translate to “brown paper lunch bag with smiley face drawn on it”.

And that’s exactly what the Tweenbot looks like.  It was a research project for NYU ITP student Kacie Kinzer.  If you’ve never heard of the NYU “ITP” grad program—I hadn’t—it describes itself as the “Center for the Recently Possible”.  You know how the Sharper Image sells a whole bunch of crap that uses fiber optics and lasers to look really cool but not function in any useful way?  The NYU ITP center does kinda the same thing—except it probably costs $40,000 a year instead of 99.99 (which is what everything at the Sharper Image costs, until it goes on clearance at TJ Maxx for 5.99).

Kinzer created the Tweenbot to answer one simple question:  Are New Yorkers really @ssholes?

The answer?  Surprisingly not.

Here’s how it works:  Build a stupid robot that’s too cute for words and is only capable of going forward.  No sensors. No artificial intelligence.  No weapons.  No fun.  Then attach a sign to it that’s drawn by the same girl who drew hearts, flowers, and teddy bears all over your high school yearbook.  The sign should say (in happy bubble letters with appropriately ridiculous flourishes) “HELP ME. I need to get to the Southwest corner of Washington Square Park.”  Then take it to the Northeast corner and let it loose.

42 minutes and 29 pedestrian helpers later, the robot will arrive at its goal.

Kinzer believes that this says something about the Washington Square Park crowd; that it says something about New Yorkers; that it says something about human nature itself.

I think that it says something about the power of cute.

And makes me want to hurl just a little bit.

Look, I wasn’t alive when machines took over manufacturing; but I think that I would have been OK with it.  I’m pretty friggin’ lazy.  When computers learned how to spell for me, I was actually damn glad—even if I do have to click undo every time my cell phone auto-corrects “Binghamton” to “Birmingham”.  I was EVEN OK with it when they invented a robot to replace fashion models; feminists, doctors (and anybody else with a brain) have been saying for years that no human being should force themselves to be that skinny—and apparently some robotics geek in the IT department took them literally.

But robots writing my porn?

A line must be drawn in the sand, people.  I’m telling you: robotic strippers aren’t far behind.

But I’m getting ahead of myself.  This all started when I heard about The Bookseller’s Diagram Prize for Oddest Book Title of the Year.  Anything that trivial and still well-publicized seemed like a worthy feature for BingPop.

But then I learned of this year’s “controversy”.  *GASP* Among nominees such as “Curbside Consultation of the Colon” (appetizing!), “Strip and Knit with Style” (titillating!), and “Baboon Metaphysics” (um, stupid), was a title that was COMPUTER GENERATED.  “The 2009-2014 World Outlook for 60-miligram Containers of Fromage Frais” was “written by” Prof Philip M Parker.

(PS, Fromage Frais is a French diary product not often found in the US.  And yes, I had to look that up on Wikipedia.  Don’t judge.)

Now it’s probably true that most great inventions in the world stem from one form of laziness or another—but Parker takes the cake; he wanted to be a best-selling author without actually bothering to write a book.  Instead, he invented a computer algorithm to do the writing for him.  On just about any topic he plugs into the machine.  The algorithm searches the Internet for all available info, organizes it, creates a few pretty charts, and voila: Parker’s now got over 200,000 books listed on Amazon.  Which has got to make him very popular with the ladies.  Who like books.  Sexy librarians?

Anyway, what he’s working on next will definitely make him popular… with somebody; computer-generated romance novels.  Or what I like to call “pornography for sexually repressed women”.

Parker: “I’ve already set it up.  There are only so many body parts.”

Ya know; I’m not sure, but I’m beginning to remember hearing about something similar… a device for piecing together random bits of memory and placing it in a new context… some sort of “internal creative device” if you will…

Oh right, your f&$king imagination.

God, we’re lazy.

PS, one of next year’s potential nominees for the "Oddest Book Title" award is about to be released: "Soft Drink and Fruit Juice Problems Solved" from Woodhead Publishing.  And that little nugget of weird came from the brain of a real live human being.  How quaint.