Look, it’s not that I actually ENJOY recessions.  I mean, there’s nothing fun about being laid off after years of devotion to your corporate overlord or see your hard-earned 401K spiral into nothingness.  But here’s the deal…  I think we all could use a little perspective: the Titanic’s sinking, there’s not enough lifeboats, no hope of rescue, and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it.  So why not lay way back in your deck chair and enjoy the band as it plays on?

And so today, for your shameful pleasure, I present to you, three things you can do to enjoy the worst economic times of our generation…  Well, the last 3 or 4 generations.

Share and enjoy.

1) Become a cubicle seat-filler.
You’ve heard of seat-fillers at the Oscar’s right?  When Nicole Kidman gets up to take a pee, a "Nicole Kidman-esque woman" takes her place.  That way, when the cameras pan over the crowd, nobody says, “My God, Nicole Kidman went to take a pee!  RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE of the Oscars!”

The alternative would be a plastic cup.  Not pleasant.

Corporate America was so inspired by the example, they’ve gone to hiring “cubicle fillers”.  The story goes something like this.  “My God, we’ve got an important client coming on Thursday and 60% of our staff has been laid off!  That’s going to look good at all.  What shall we do?  I know!  Let’s hire temps to PRETEND to do the work that all the fired people aren’t doing.”

We found out about it on a site called oddjobnation.com—a web page for the recently unemployed that collects articles asking profound questions like, “Is porn recession-proof?”

They’ve also got a fun web sit-com about—what else—lay-offs.

2. Freak the F#($ out.

What are you doing reading this blog while you’re at work?  Your boss is just around the corner.  What was that noise?!? Was it your boss?  No, it’s the intern, thank God, it’s the intern.  Wait, what if the IT guy is watching my screen remotely?  What if they IT guy is watching my screen remotely and piping it to my boss?  What if my boss sees that I’m reading this blog while I’m at work and lays me off at 5 o’clock???  I’ve got a family and 2 kids and a car payment and a mortgage a serious coke habit on the side!

Have you had this conversation with yourself recently?

If so, hang on, you’re about to get a bit more neurotic thanks to the “Telonu Layoff Tracker”!  (PS, the coke probably isn’t helping.)  Not convinced that you’re the next one headed for the unemployment line!?  Well, you will be, as you watch the totals pour in from companies all across the nation.  GM loses a thousand!  NY Times, 200 more!  Chances are, you GOTTA be next.  Oh the fun you’ll have…

3. Buy my shirt.
Of all the things Binghamton can take pride in, there’s one that’s more useful right now than any other: we know how to live in a crappy economy.  Seriously!  Business has been thriving here for years despite tough times.  Don’t fear it!  Embrace it!  Wear it proudly on your chest.  In Small, Medium or Large…

CLICK TO ORDER

And just think!  You’ll be supporting the local economy.  For every shirt that you buy, Café Press will send $3.50 to me!  Which happens to be the exact price of a rum and coke at the Mad Moose.  Which is what I will buy with the earnings.  To forget about how crappy the economy is.

Salud!

OK, so imagine you took BRAVO’s reality show “Project Runway”, merged it with the Build-a-Bear Workshop, and then filled it with 20 or 30 screaming 11-year-old girls; and what you’ve got is two things, really:  1) a massive migraine that even a mallet to the head won’t cure & 2) an average day at the new make-it-yourself fashion workshop in Vestal: “NuWaka”.  OK, I’m lying just a little.  The screaming throngs haven’t yet descended upon NuWaka; but believe me, they will. Because this idea is just too freakin’ adorable to fail.

The front room of NuWaka is deceptively plain.  You walk in to be confronted by rack after rack of unadorned solid colored T’s and pants.  YAAAAAWN.  But this is why I’m not an 11 year old girl (or fashion-conscious boy, for that matter).  Because while I think “booooring”, they’ll see the possibilities.  At NuWaka, you start from scratch and design your outfit from the ground up.  Start with a T, choose some clip art at the computer workstations in the back, add a few rhinestones, and your tween daughter just got started on her long road to Fashion Week.

But it doesn’t end there.  For the advanced budding fashionista, owner Brian Cupp has hired design students to help with your look.  Want a layered shirt with the sleeves a different color from the rest?  nuWaka will sew it for you.  Two colors not enough?  Patch together a skirt from more than two.  Pick fabrics off the wall, choose a pattern, and design your own pants.

But really, that’s not the coolest part.  This is: even my 25-year-old friend Marissa couldn’t contain her 12-year-old girl enthusiasm when she realized that she could jump up on nuWaka’s mirrored runway and strike a pose.  This makes me feel like the only obstacle to attracting throngs of women older than 21 to the store is that it doesn’t serve cocktails to loosen them up first.  Marissa, on the other hand, is just high on life.

And although they might eventually form its fanatical core audience, NuWaka isn’t ONLY for the tween set—in fact, owner Brian Cupp proved he could also fill me with an embarrassingly giddy sense of delight.  When I arrived at the store last Friday, a BingPop T design was already waiting for me at one of the computer workstations.  Within moments, I was already wearing my own piece of NuWaka.  And didn’t take it off till bed time.

Will some of these outfits turn out to be WRETCHED?  Absolutely.  But even Pierre Cardin wasn’t Pierre Cardin the day he first touched fabric.  (And now he’s designing things so ugly, an 11 year old would sneer.)  But it’s the chance to create—even something mildly ridiculous—that makes this place so cool.  And it’s true, NuWaka could use a bit more glam up front, considering it’s target clientele, but it’s a damn good start.  For Vestal, for Brian Cupp, and for the kids that might go on to work for Chanel and Versace.

(Or, ya know, at the cash register of the Oakdale GAP.)

INTERVIEW: Brian Cupp.

Can you remember the spark? The minute you thought of NuWaka? What was it that made the idea happen?
I do remember the moment we thought of NuWaka. Roughly two years ago, my daughters (Jenna now 14 and Taylor now 11) and I were riding back from Syracuse after spending the day at the Carousel Mall. One of our stops during the day was Build-A-Bear and of course they had a great time but I dropped a hundred dollars on two bears that I knew would sit in the corner until Rylie (our dog) got a hold of the bears and ripped the stuffing out. I said to the girls wouldn’t it be great to do something similar to Build-A-Bear but make something you could actually use every day. Jenna said "How about clothes?". We then brainstormed the whole way home and I couldn’t sleep that night because ideas kept running through my head!

So before you did all this fashion stuff, you did. um, was it COMPUTERS for a living? Seriously?
Yes, I’m a Computer Science major and was a Software Engineering manager at Lockheed Martin for twelve years and was Vice President of Operations for Verticalnet (now BravoSolutions). I headed up software development, customer support and Infrastructure Technology (IT). So yeah, this is quite a change from what I was used to. I also have owned some Subway franchises for the past 15 years however I have a great partner and managers that keep those running well.

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I don’t know what pretentious fashion editor at what high-end fashion mag suddenly decided downtown Binghamton was a secret fashion mecca, but fashion boutiques are popping up downtown like there’s somebody living down there who’s got money to burn.

I haven’t seen those people yet, but we can all keep our fingers crossed and hope they buy stuff.

To get people to buy stuff, all those boutiques have teamed up to put on a fashion show tonight.  What?  Yes, that’s right: a fashion show in Dowtown Binghamton.  In the Metrocenter.

It’s like Bryant Park during fashion week with less Tim Gunn, less Heidi Klum and less cocaine backstage.  (I’ll leave it up to you to decide which of the three you’ll miss.)

Here are the gory details:  Tonight, 6:30 to 9.  Shops involved: M.Y. Boutique, On the Town, Chrysalis, Sassy Boutique, Imagicka, Binghamton Bag Company, and Orion. Food and drinkie from L’avaggio, Fabrizio’s, and Marilyn’s Bake Shoppe.

Fabrizio’s makes a mean cup of tea, btw.

We nabbed super-chic shop owner Stacie Webb from M.Y. Boutique for an interview.  (You can tell she’s super-chic because the name of her boutique has two extra periods for no apparent reason.  So fetch.)  Stacie is the show organizer.

So what KINDS of fashions will we see at tonight’s show.  Super-high end?  Middle of the road?
There’s everything; we have six completely different boutiques.  It’s a very eclectic collection, starting with teenagers and going all the way up in terms of age.

Who’s modeling this stuff.  Are these pros?  Locals?
A lot of them are university students that are interns for the city of Binghamton.  Others are just friends and family or employees of the businesses.  These are not trained models.  They’re the people you see walking down the street.

When you put the outfits together for M.Y. Boutique, I’m thinking you worked with what’s in.  So what IS in right now?
From my store, you’ll see a lot of holiday dresses.  Little splashes of color.  A lot of sequins and a lot of ruffles.  We’re also showing our men’s collection tonight.  A lot of different denim cuts—layering and button downs.

Bing isn’t exactly known for being a fashion mecca.  If there’s one mistake you see the ladies of Binghamton making more often then you’d like, what would it be?
I don’t think anything’s a mistake so long as you’re comfortable with what you’re wearing.

It seems like there are a lot of boutiques opening downtown hoping that more people will move in; so, how’s business?
Business is a rollercoaster, as it is with any new business right now in this economy.  We’ve had strong weeks, and not so strong weeks.  Hopefully, now, things will start to turn around.  I just want to invite everybody down to the show tonight.  We’ve put a lot of effort into it.  I think people will be impressed and shocked about everything downtown has to offer.

I’ve heard that there’s a girl who knows a girl whose second cousin has a brother that knows the number of a women I could call to throw a purse party.

They happen in the back rooms of bars.  Sometimes in the privacy of some girlfriend’s living room with a few bottles of merlot.  But nobody seems to know where to buy a trendy bag in the Southern Tier without cracking the purse party code.

(And let’s face it–some of these purse parties don’t WANT to be found.)

Enter Binghamton Bag Company (39 Court).

It’s a new business—downtown (YAY!)—that sells inexpensive bags to make you look just as hip and trendy as your best friend who always seems to have nicer clothes.

Billie and John are the owners of the company, so we shot them an e-mail to find out what’s the latest with their new shop.

What’s IN with bags now?  If a woman walks in and says “make me look current”, what’s the first bag you reach for?
Animal prints like girrafe, zebra, and leopard are IN with handbags today. The spy bags are very popular, smaller satchel type bags with flap openings.
If a woman came in and wanted the "current look", I would reach for the girrafe print with solid black handles. This bag is very in and chic.

You guys have some insane novelty bags.  Tell me about the weirder ones.
Our high heeled boots with gold chain handles zip up the front and hold alot of stuff (hot pink and white).
We also have high top sneakers that tie and zip up the top to hold your belongings (white, green, black, pick and camo).
There are the boustier handbags that are really funky (pink, blue, and pink/green polkadot). And I can not forget the coconut (real) that zips and has an interior lining and pouch for your personal items!

How much is somebody gonna spend for a bag in your store?
People will spend anywhere from $4.90 for childrens purses to $95.90 for adult handbags. All of our handbags are UNDER $96.00 and the average handbag costs $36.90! Its important to us that our prices stay low.

It’s called “Binghamton Bag Company”.  Sell anything BUT bags?
We DO sell other things besides bags! We sell jewelry, wallets, coin purses, luggage, brief cases, watches, and sunglasses.

Why’d you guys choose downtown Bing?
We chose the downtown Binghamton area because we envision in the near future more residential housing which will bring more customers. We also are impressed with the fact that the downtown Binghamton area is "coming back", there are so many wonderful places to shop and eat and its only getting better as time goes on!