I knew it the day I turned 22—it was all down hill from there.  After all, who actually looks forward to a birthday after 21.  At 21, you get to drink.  Maybe we need to legalize another substance and allow you to smoke it at 25.

Yes, it’s true.  I knew that the good life ended at 22, but until now, there was no actual irrefutable scientific evidence.  Now, there is.

Researchers at the U of Virginia have decided that people reach their mental peak at 22 and begin to decline at 27.  Face it; if you’re 28, you may already be on the road to senility.  And shouldn’t be allowed to drive.  Or chose the radio station.  Or the President.

They tested 2000 adults from the ages of 18 to 60 with visual puzzles and recollection tests.  I guess they made them solve Rubik’s cubes and take Starbucks orders—I dunno.  Reasoning started to go down the tubes at 27; memory at 37; and everything else collapsed starting at 42.

The sunny news?  Vocabulary continued to increase till age 60.  So as you ramble in your increasing senility, rest assured that you’ll be using big words.  That you have no idea the meaning of.