I am convinced that the Irish people of Binghamton are just smarter than the rest of us.  Why, you ask?  For this simple reason: No one else has figured out a good excuse to celebrate their coolest holiday of the year TWICE.

Oh, yes, yes, it’s true.  If you ASK somebody why we celebrate St. Patrick’s Day a full two weeks early, they’ll tell you it’s so that we can get the best bands to come from the surrounding areas and play in Binghamton… but I’m not buyin’…  It’s so that merry can be made TWICE for the same holiday, a mere two weeks apart.  Clever.  Clever indeed.

Anyway, being that I can’t entirely remember what I did last Parade Day, I thought it best to let a pro handle the official BingPop preview; and so here it is, from my friend Kristen (one of my favorite Irish people on the planet)…

The 5 Hottest Things To Do on Parade Day in the Big Bing:

5. EAT.  For breakfast: Green Eggs & Ham.  AND Green Beer starting 10 am at Flashbacks.  During what other holiday can you wake up, stumble out of the house, and enjoy breakfast and BEER instead of the usual OJ and coffee.  Many local places start out the day with breakfast, including Dino’s Bar & Grill.  They’ll have music too and Limo Service to and from the Parade.

4. DRINK.  This goes without saying: Drinking Green Beer or Guinness (for us purists) while the clock still says “AM” only comes once a year.  Everyone in the city will be getting into the spirit of Parade Day, and if you don’t like going indoors, there’s always the giant inflatable pub on State Street.

3. MAKE MUSIC.  Binghamton is the home to a lot of great Irish music, and on Parade Day they’re out in force.  Performers such as Donal O’Shaughnessy (www.irishsongs.com) start early, end late, and play at venues throughout Binghamton.  Tranquil Bar/Bistro is one option because the parade passes right by its doors and they’ll host Pat Kane from 1 to 5.  So keep your eyes out at your local watering hole and inquire about their Parade Day festivities; the party starts early and goes long into the night.

2. PARADE.  The Parade is the reason for it all.  One of the reasons we have the Parade 2 weeks early—(NOTE FROM THE EDITOR:  Here we go! What did I tell you??)—is to get all of the great Pipe & Drum Bands.  Bands travel from Philadelphia and NYC to participate in Binghamton’s Parade; the parade is huge, goes on for miles, and is Irish to the core, with step dancers, pipers, and even kazooers—how many parades can claim kazoos?).  It’s an excellent time for everyone.

1. BE IRISH.  On Parade Day, everybody’s Irish for a Day and most people show it in amazing fashion—from Guinness pants to green glasses and lots and lots of beads.  It’s a kick-ass time for fun and a great excuse to party with friends.

PS: Don’t be an F-up: Don’t drink and drive.  And know your limit.  Oh, and write down this number: (607) 722-2322‎; Then put your ex’s name above it.  It’s actually the number for Yellow Cab.  But if you get drunk enough to dial it, you’re better off with the cab.