Excuse me; I’ll be hiding in the back of Court Jester stealing people’s used gym towels.
PETA’s done some screwed up s&%t, but I’ve never thought of them as the guy that slips into the girl’s locker room after a long soccer match to sniff a forgotten sock. But thanks to their newest publicity stunt, I now do.
For some depraved reason, instead of donating money to the cause, a PETA supporter sent a used gym towel to their organization; but not just ANY used gym towel. George CLOONEY’S used gym towel.
Sexy.
And so the PETA marketing department went to work. “How can we turn George Clooney’s used gym towel into an animal rights message.” The insanely far-fetched answer? Tofu.
PETA claims that the number one reason people don’t eat Tofu—and therefore devour dead animal flesh instead—is that they think it’s bland. So they want to flavor Tofu with George Clooney sweat. And they’ve written a letter asking if it’s OK to do so.
So thank you, PETA. The next time you see George Clooney on TV, I hope that you think of armpits, cheese, mad cow disease… And then vomit.
PS: I will never eat cheese OR onions again.
PPS: Or sniff used gym socks.
PPPS: I don’t think I can eat Tofu again either. It’s steak or nothing.
PPPPS: I had steak at the Kilmer for the first time on Parade Day. It was excellent. So THERE, PETA. You’ve been foiled.
