OK, look, I’ve kept it in long enough.  I just need to come right out and say it: I have an unnatural obsession with Angela Lansbury.

Yes, Angela Lansbury; the 84-year old Academy Award winning star of the Manchurian Candidate and (MORE IMPORTANTLY) the fine actress who portrayed singing teapot Mrs. Potts in the masterpiece musical Beauty and the Beast.  But that’s not really the root of my obsession…

It all began when I was very young.  I tried to hide from it.  Tried to redirect my interest into something normal.  The Hardy Boys or Edgar Allen Poe.  But they just wouldn’t do.  It would all come back to that small town of Cabot Cove, Maine, where bestselling novelist Jessica B Fletcher (played by Lansbury) would unleash an unintentional trail of homicidal carnage in her literary wake.  That’s right, week after week on Murder She Wrote, a local resident would inexplicably die and Angela would come to the rescue—noting that the killer was clearly LEFT-handed based on the angle of entry and therefore the suspect Sheriff Tupper had in custody couldn’t POSSIBLY be the real killer.

But it wasn’t JUST Fletcher.  It was really just any ludicrously unlikely detective.  In 1987, NBC created the Father Dowling Mysteries—in which a Catholic Priest and a streetwise nun worked to keep slime balls off the streets of Chicago.  And before that, the Great Mouse Detective rocked my world.  If there were a potted plant that knew how to uncover insurance fraud, I’d own the DVD box set.

So when I tell you about the “Underwood Estates Wine Murder Mystery” this Sunday at Antonio’s Café—you’ll understand why I’m excited.  Normally, I’m a theater snob—and the idea of dinner (or in this case brunch) theater makes me want to gag on a chicken parmesan.  But as far as I’m concerned, with murder mysteries, the campier the better.

Bring on the ailing old millionaire, the scheming butler, the money-hungry young nephews trying to get a glance of their uncle’s will.  If an over-the-top European inspector enters with a muddy accent: all the better.  And let him have a magnifying glass—oh please, let him have a magnifying glass.  And a fake suicide note.  And a skeleton key.

Let there be all these things; and I will be there.  Munching on Antonio’s brunch of pasta, meatballs, and chicken cutlets.  (And BTW, there’s a cash bar; because any great interactive murder mystery brunch is best when enjoyed with a fine White Zinfandel.)  If you’re feeling super-ambitious, Antonio is still looking for actors; e-mail him at This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it .  The whole thing is hosted by “DJ John Adams”—which, BTW, is an excellent DJ name—-major “founding father cred”.
 
PS: Antonio has the best gelato is greater Binghamton.  Save room.