OK, people, let’s consider this a virtually delivered pep-talk.  I’m all about tradition.  Tradition is great; some of the very best events in the Southern Tier are based on tradition: The Spiedie Fest; JulyFest; the Chris Thater Memorial (which, I should add, I will be huffing and puffing my way through this coming Sunday… and if you take a picture I swear to God I’ll rip the negatives or flash chip or whatever it is right out of you damn camera and then stomp on it until it’s dead dead dead.  And then I’ll give you the stink-eye.)  Anyway, tradition is good.  And we have a lot of it.  And we take pride in it.

BUT

The world doesn’t run on tradition alone.  Part of my mission at BingPop has been too highlight the hot; the new; the trendy.  And to point out that some pretty traditional charities/organizations/venues in town are testing the waters with some brand new attention-grabbing adventures.  So without further ado… I present to you… (And I didn’t even need a rhyming dictionary for that brilliant little wordplay…)

REALLY COOL CRAP THAT PEOPLE ARE DOING TO GET YOU TO NOTICE THEM, BINGHAMTON!

COW CHIP BINGO
CATHOLIC CHARITIES OF NORWICH
OK, to be fair, this tradition isn’t that new.  It’s 12 years old.  But it’s cool as crap.  Pardon the pun.  Get it?  Cool as crap?  Cause it’s cow chips?  (God, I’m good.)

You can probably figure out what this is all about.  The cows are fed.  Very well fed.  And then released onto a giant board filled with numbers and, well, grass.  Which is the perfect place for cows to, well, “go”.  To the bathroom.  And once the cow has, well, “gone”, the resulting “mass” is examined to determine exactly which numbered box it landed on.  Contestants purchase the numbered boxes in advance for a chance to win cash money prizes.

Cash for poop.  Now THIS is sport.

Well, come on, it’s more interesting than soccer.  Or paint drying.  (Equivalent.)

Now I’m perfectly willing to concede I might only find this event “fascinatin’” ‘cause I’m a “city boy”.  Like cow tipping and the idea that cows give milk—cows give milk, can ya believe it?!—it’s one of those things that you don’t learn about when you buy all your chicken from street-corner pushcarts or in styrofoam fast food containers.  PS, now that I’ve realized meat comes from nature and isn’t grown in a lab, it DOES seem odd that it can come in kid-friendly shapes.  Way to go, Perdue!

Now here’s what I think could make this event a BIT more interesting: urban cow chip Bingo.  COURT STREET is roped off from River Read Books to L’aveggio Roastera, spectators can watch from the sidewalk—maybe the sidewalk seating at Sake Tumi—and egg the cows on like contestants on the Price is Right…  Or better yet: Bird Crap Bingo!  In Bingo!  Just release a fleet of pigeons downtown and the numbered squares could just be peoples heads.  The possibilities are limitless.

OK, let’s move on…

WARP SPEED WEDNESDAYS
THE ROBERSON CENTER

If you’re a Star Wars fan, go away.  Any halfway intelligent human being clearly realizes that Star Trek is superior to Star Wars.  Like that time that Geordi from Star Trek: The Next Generation got trapped on a ship full of stupid people that only kidnapped him because they were too damn stupid to fix their own stupid ship—that’s what I feel like when I’m trapped in a room full of people who like Star Wars better than Star Trek.  And if you’re offended: Hab SoSlI’ Quch!

(That’s Klingon for something terribly insulting.  I’d translate it here but I’ve got too much class.)

Anyway, the reason this is so important to establish is because the Roberson Museum folks have oh-so-wisely chosen Star Trek (over Star Wars) to show before planetarium shows during Warp Speed Wednesdays.  I’m going to assume that’s it not JUST because Hyperspace Wednesdays sounds dumb.

Here’s out it worked: every Wednseday during the month of August, Roberson projected a Star Trek episode on the ceiling of the planetarium.  Besides making you very, very sleepy (from the reclining seats) and slightly injuring your neck (I doubt this is permanent), it was a great hook to get total dweebs like me into the museum.  I gave it a go this past Wednseday, walking into the museum about 5 minutes after the start of the episode—which is a bit tragic, because I was totally looking forward to the warble of the original Star Trek Theme (which, if you’re curious, is best sung by uttering the words “wah, waaaaah, wah wah wah wah wah” over and over again).

The episode shown was “All Our Yesterdays”.  It goes a little bit like every other episode of Star Trek: Kirk, Spock, and McCoy beam to a clearly dangerous planet with wild, reckless abandon.  The three get separated, usually in a configuration that allows Spock and McCoy to do lots of knee-slappingly funny bickering.  Kirk almost has sex but doesn’t.  Some kind of time travel accident occurs that involves the screen flickering and somebody vanishing—(that was apparently the only special effect available to all of science fiction in the 60s).  And then an alien with a weird head is defeated.  Occasionally the alien with the weird head is also the one Kirk tries to have sex with.

The showing was populated mainly by moms or dads with their kids; I was actually pretty impressed to see how many 8-year-olds sat fascinated, wordless, watching 50-year-old television. That is, until a late-arrival family sat down in the row right in front of me.  The young boy with them, exuberant, immediately exclaimed, “It’s Star Trek!”

Apparently he knew that I missed the opening credits. 

It was pretty cute.  The first time.  The 5th time, it stopped being so cute.  Luckily, his parents silenced him after a bit.  So I didn’t have to move forward my hastily constructed emergency plan to silence him by shouting , “Three of the original cast members are dead, you hear me?! DEAD!”  See how exuberant you are after that, little punk.

Not long after Star Trek ended, the planetarium show began.  I hadn’t been to a planetarium show since I was, like, 5, so I didn’t really know what to expect.  Basically, what I got was a rundown of that night’s sky, narrated by the museum’s expert.  Although I wasn’t immediately inspired to become on astronomer, I did pick up on a few facts I hadn’t known before: 1) If you look the haze of the Milky Way with binoculars, you can actually make out more distant stars (cool).  2) The little dipper is fainter than the big dipper because it’s further away (not as cool, but something you can tell people at parties so they think you’re smart than they are).  3) Children will immediately fall silent and become fascinated by laser pointers and will not speak again until the laser disappears (useful, see above).

PS: Children will also become immediately fascinated by the ENORMOUS Nintendo Wii screen that’s part of the current Roberson Champions exhibit.  And the rest of us will find it to be a fun way to spend a Sunday afternoon if we’re too cheap to buy our own Wii.  Which I am.  See you at the Roberson…

BTW, I e-mailed the Roberson’s new marketing director Jason Fuime at 4:45 PM on a Thursday afternoon because I wanted to find out more about Warp Speed Wednesdays.  Also because I’m a bit sadistic and like making good-spirited, hard-working folk work late.  (Thanks for doing this on short notice, Jason.)

* So why Star Trek? Why not, say, Star Wars? Battlestar Gallactica?
Star Trek is a household name.  No matter what age you are, you’ve likely seen some form or version of Star Trek in your life.  Our planetarium guys also have a great interest in Star Trek and helped develop the name Warp Speed Wednesdays.  They were certainly thrilled to showcase some of their favorite episodes during the promotion. 
 
* How’s the attendance been? And who’s coming? Big dorks like me or everybody?
Attendance has varied during the month we’ve offered the free shows, some days busier than others.  We’ve had some positive feedback for providing a show to weekday visitors, since Roberson does not have scheduled planetarium shows Wednesdays or Thursdays.  As far as who’s coming — all kinds of people including the Trekkies.  We saw a bunch of families with younger kids stop in for the show as part of their visit to the museum.

* Any plans to do this in the future… (We hope so.)
It’s too early to say if we’ll do a similar promotion in the future.  But we are hoping to make some upgrades to the planetarium in the near future, which may result in new shows and more fun offerings like this one.

THE DONNER SUMMER DANCE-OFF
FLASHBACKS

Radio DJs, generally speaking, are meet and greet whores.  I myself am no exception.  It’s not that we actually care about meeting the famous person in question (most of the time).  It’s just that we really like posting the photo on our Facebook and have admiring acquaintances say things like, “OH MY GOD, YOU MET ENGLEBERT HUMPERDINK?!”

I, for the record, have not met Englebert Humperdink.  But I have met KC form KC and the Sunshine Band.  Which is awesome.

And if a meet and greet whore tells you he doesn’t count the number of minutes he gets to spend with said celebrity, he’s a dirty rotten liar.

I got to spend 45 seconds with Rob Thomas.  And spend a good 45 minutes figuring out the optimal photo crop to make it look like there WEREN’T 15 people in this photo.

The reason I’m telling you this is because the Donna Summer meet and greet at next week’s Anderson Center is a hot ticket to get.  APPARANTLY her management is demanding that it NOT be a “cattle call meet and greet”.  Which is really nice for the people who can actually win and/or sleep their way in.  It means you might get to spend a full 46 seconds with her.  And maybe the only person cooler to meet and greet than KC from KC and the Sunshine Band is Donna Summer.  Or maybe Elvis.  But that’s just because he’s dead.

Now the reason I’m telling you this is because you have ONE LAST CHANCE to win your way in to the meet and greet.  Tonight.  At Flashbacks.  The Donna Summer Dance-Off.

The other thing you should know about radio DJs is we take a certain delight in making people do fabulously embarrassing things for prizes.  And if there’s anything more embarrassing than wearing bellbottoms and go go boots to a club in 2010, please let me know so I can make it a radio contest.

The action starts at 9.  And if you know what’s good for your sense of superiority, you’ll be there.  In normal clothes.  (If you want to meet Donna Summer though… AND sit in the front row, you’d better be in costume—preferably drunk out of your mind.  I’m still trying to decide if I’m feeling that desperate: stay tuned.)

The DJ running the contest is Q107’s own Heather Black.  She’s a nicer person than I am, so I don’t think she revels in other people’s embarrassment, but I asked her for a quick e-mail interview just to make sure…

* So the poster says to impress with your "groovy moves". What exactly must one do to impress? Are there PARTICULAR Groovy Moves that will be required?
None in particular. One person actually visited a local store and asked for a copy of "Saturday Night Fever" on DVD to do his research! Anything disco, flamboyant, fun, and groovy!

* Costuming: How all out to you expect people to go. Any tips on where to shop around town?
It’s up to the participant. Obviously, we will be basing part of the contest on how retro and fun the costume is, so I recommend bringing out your inner polyester party!

Lots of people have asked if I have ideas on where to shop. I say find a relative who just can’t get rid of anything (even from the 70s!) and raid their closet, or hit up your nearest thrift store. You can always find fun stuff browsing secondhand racks, and you can’t beat the price!

* Will you, in fact, be in costume for said event?
Let’s just say I plan to "dress to impress!"

Flashmobs are a lot less dangerous then they sound.  Really.  But if I’d never heard of one, I’d personally avoid it at all cost.  Seriously, who decided to combine the phrases “flash flood” and “angry mob” and thought that people would come running to take part?

But come running they have.  In fact, if you were jogging down the Vestal Rail Trail behind the Parkway Subway on Tuesday night, you’ve already seen a flashmob in person.

But let’s go back to basics.  For those of you who have been living in a hole for the last 5 years and are just discovering the ‘interweb’ for the first time, “What is a flashmob?” Wikipedia, clearly the most reliable reference material ever conceived of by man, defines a flashmob as “a large group of people who assemble suddenly in a public place, perform an unusual and pointless act for a brief time, then disperse.”

That’s right, my friends, flashmobs are the Seinfeldian cousin of the political rally.  People assemble for no reason whatsoever, perform a task that has no intrinsic value, and then disassemble to no place in particular—although, realistically, they probably disassemble to get plastered at a pub down the street.  (After Tuesday night’s Rail Trail flashmob, a few of us reassembled at the outdoor seating of the Vestal Uno’s, apparently chosen because “it has more shrubbery than the outdoor seating of the Vestal TGI Friday’s.”)

The first successful flash mob, legend has it (and by ‘legend’, I again mean Wikipedia), was held at a Manhattan Macy’s June 3rd, 2003.  A group of 100 participants assembled around a giant rug on the 9th floor of the department store and, when approached by bewildered salespeople, explained that they “all lived together in a warehouse loft and searching for a ‘loverug’ large enough to accommodate the entire group”.

Since then, flashmobs have evolved into everything from mass pillow fights in urban parks and silent discos in underground subways to massive reenactments of Michael Jackson videos.  The silent disco—one of my favorite kinds of flashmob—involves gathering a large groups of people into one place with IPods and headphones who then listen to their own favorite song and dance about wildly in anything but unison.  A flash mob true-ist will tell you that a flashmob MUST be organized on the Internet by a group of volunteers bent on doing nothing more than having a senselessly good time.  They’ll tell you that a publicity stunt planned by a corporate marketing department DOES NOT COUNT; nor does Oprah’s giant staging of the Black Eyed Peas track “I Gotta Feeling”.

What’s perhaps most unusual about the flashmobs that have cropped up in Greater Binghamton over the past few weeks is that they’re all organized by a church: Grace Adventure.

Grace Adventure bills itself as a “church without a building”.  A recent e-mail from the church’s pastor, Annette Snedaker, goes something like this: “We all know that young adults are a missing population in today’s churches.  Let’s face it: the population in general, is declining in churches.  But yet, the world needs people reaching out to others in love and compassion more than ever!  So… there are a group of us trying to do something that will bring young adults back to talking about their spirituality, and making a difference in the community in non-traditional ways and spaces.”

And to get rolling, Grace Adventure has staged two “freeze mobs”.  One at Spiedie Fest and the other at the Rail Trail.  A freeze mob is a form of flashmobbing wherein participants synchronize their watches, stroll casually into a public place, and then all freeze at the exact same moment.  After a few minutes, they all unfreeze and proceed about their business as if nothing unusual has happened.  Check out this very famous freeze mob at Grand Central Station to get acquainted…

Now the Grace Adventure people have chosen to flashmob for a cause.  A different cause each time.  Their Spiedie Fest mob was designed to support CHOW; participants were asked to bring canned food before they took part.  And their Rail Trail mob was held to support the Southern Tier AIDS Program’s “Dog Gone Fun on the Run”.  People were asked to bring pet food or doggie toys to the event.  To give STAPs event the extra push, many of the freezers stood still with Doggone flyers in hand.

I’m gonna make an admission here: I had my doubts about the Rail Trail flash mob. For one thing, you need a critical mass of non-participants to make these things work.  Luckily, the good weather had brought out a decent amount of early evening strollers, runners, and dog-walkers.  My other concern was that we only had about 20 people there to take part.  But what I realized right away is that ANY out-of-the-ordinary behavior interrupting somebody’s early evening routine gets attention pretty quick.  Even if the interruption only comes from one nutball.  Now multiply that effect by twenty.

One two-some from our group held a freeze-frisbee game in the middle of the path.  A family stood off to one side, all in a row, as if frozen in the middle of their afternoon walk.  And as you might expect, half the fun is watching the spectators—which ones turn their head, which ones stop to look, and which ones, faced with the unexpected, try to ignore the event as if doing so would stop it from happening.

Grace Adventure isn’t content to stop with Flashmobs.  They’ve got a whole slate of non-traditional church events planned, including “Theology on Tap” at Kelly’s in Endicott, an “open house” held at Mad Mouse Saloon, and a “Teahouse Talk” at Vestal’s famous bubble tea joint behind Denny’s.

Annette Snedaker took a moment away from planning the future of religion as we know it to answer a few questions about freezemobs and other fun nonsense…

So I missed the Spiedie Fest Flash Mob; how did it go?  What was the idea there?
Hilarious!  6 folks from Grace Adventure showed up and then we recruited about 15 high school students there. The things people say as they walk by a group of "frozen" people is quite funny!  They say things such as, "Do you think she will move if I….(fill in the blank)"  The Spedie Fest mob was for CHOW.  Everyone brought a non perishable food item.  We decided on CHOW because we realize people have been hard hit with the economy the way it is right now. 

Where’d you get the idea for the mob. Any particular stunt you saw on the Internet inspire you?
The idea of a mob came out of the fact that I was a youth leader a year ago and my youth group talked about doing one.  I looked it up on You Tube and decided it was a great idea.  Unfortunately, we never did one as a group, but I forwarde the idea to Grace Adventure.  I hope some of them come do one with us!  We would love to do a dancing mob someday like the one that took place in Grand Central Station.

How have people reacted so far?
I’m not sure if you mean to the mobs or to Grace Adventure.  To the mobs…people think its a fresh, easy, and fun way to bring awareness to a cause.  Folks are excited to get out there and make a difference in unique ways.  Its a way to do something for the community that leads to laughter, meeting new people, and making a difference.  People want to help, but sometimes they don’t know where to begin.
To Grace Adventure, people have reacted very positively.  Honestly, the fact that we are a church still scares people.  There is a lot of "baggage" with the word and organization we call church.  Sometimes people say, "I’m not a church person" or "I’m not religious."  So I’ll ask, "What does that mean?"  A lot of times it means they feel they will be judged, not that they don’t belive in a God.  It’s so sad and awful that church has the reputation of judging and building barriers, but I understand why.  I have seen church hurt people;  People I love and care about.  So Grace Adventure is trying to break those barriers down!  The church has done a lot of good in this world too!  So the more I get to know someone and once they start meeting people on the Grace Adventure team, they see that we really are a group of people trying to do good, but are not set on one way of believing, talking about God, or practicing spirituality.  There are more people then one might think who are looking for some type of faith/"do-good" experience in their life, but would never find what they need in a traditional church.  Honestly, as a pastor, I am much more comfortable outside a traditional church as well…probably for the same reasons a lot of other people are. But I believe there is a God calling us to lend one another a hand.  (But do I think God is a guy?  Heck no!  Do I believe the Bible is the infallible word of God?  Nope.  It was written by men who, just like you and I, were on a faith journey trying to describe and learn from their own experiences.  So there is a lot to learn from it, but also a lot that is completely irrelevant to our lives today).

Does your idea of building the church through community involvement have a model?  Another church?
A model?  I have researched and been trained in starting a new church; however, I do not know of any other church that has no building.  As far as I have heard, Grace Adventure is the only church I know who NEVER wants to be put in a building.  Office space?  Maybe.  That sure would help me find my dining room table.  But a building where we gather?   Not in our future!  We want to guarantee ourselves and the community that we will always be present and active…doing what our God calls the church to do, which is to get off our butts, get to know the community around us, and try to meet their needs.  Church is something we should DO…NOT a place where we go. 

Besides Flash Mobs, what other adventures do you have up your sleeve?
Up our sleeves?  Haha!  We have ideas coming out our pant legs too!  We are really excited about the upcoming Theology on Tap, Alzheimer’s Walk, Doggone Fun Run, CHOW walk, a flash mob on Veteran’s Day to benefit another undecided organization, mission trips to NYC, Arkansas, and other places. We have an Open House coming up for people to come check us out.  We will offer free pizza and soda.  Its at the Mad Moose on August 31 and our band will be playing known tunes from Lady Antebellum to U2.  Join us for a bite to eat and to meet the Grace Adventure team!  We have a lot more ideas, but we are about 20 people strong right now.  Once more people come on board, we will be able to do more!

OK, Binghamton, we have a problem.  And it’s lame people who plan on staying home New Years Eve.

Yeah, lame people, I’m talking to you.  Not sure that you’re one of the lame people?  I’ve got a little “Lame People Quiz” that you can self-administer find out if you’re one of the lame-o’s..  Think back of over the past month and try to remember if you ever found yourself saying one of the following things in response to a New Years Eve invitation:  “I actually did the party thing for so many years and I’m kinda tired of it.  I’ll prolly turn in early this time around so I can get a nice early start to 2010—maybe even go for a jog!”  Or how bout this piece of crap: “I just want to snuggle up next to the fire with a good book and watch the ball drop on TV.  That Ryan Seacreast: he’s so dreamy.  Not as dreamy as Dick Clarke, but he’ll do.”  Or even worse: “I like spending New Years with the one I love, swaying softly back and forth to the sounds of Norah Jones, enjoying each others company until, sleepy from that quarter bottle of Korbel champagne we daintily sipped together, our eyelids grow heavy and we begin to pass out on the sofa in each other’s arms, quietly whispering sweet nothings into each others ears.”

OK, quiz is over.  If you found yourself saying one of the above phrases or anything even vaguely similar over the last month, it means that you’re one of the lame people.  Get your s&*t together, because you’re going out in Binghamton on New Years Eve and you’re going to like it.  Don’t make me come over there.

Why am I so passionate about getting people out of their homes on New Years Eve?

Well for two reasons, really.  First of all, New Years is the one holiday we can all actually agree to celebrate together.  Because it has no religious significance.  No political implications.  No historical importance.  Just the celebration of one second ending and another one beginning—one that just happens to mark the beginning of a new year.  Much ado about nothing, really.  Like all of humanity decided to simultaneously throw its hands into the air with irrational glee and proclaim, “Christ, look at how many 2010 wall calendars we sold at a 50% discount!  Let’s go get smashed to celebrate!”

And smashed we will all get.

Well, not ALL of us—it just so happens that getting smashed is my activity of choice.  But there’s ANOTHER big reason to be excited about New Years in Downtown Binghamton: First Night.

The good people of Southern Tier Celebrates have created a ridiculously packed schedule of events for First Night Binghamton 2010.  If you haven’t bought your button yet, they’re stupidly cheap: 12 bucks.  Go to http://stcelebrates.org to see all the stuff you get to do for 12 bucks.  When I say stupidly cheap, I mean it.  You could pay more than 12 dollars for 2 Venti Lattes at Starbucks.  Or you could just buy a First Night Button and get 8 hours worth of entertainment.  You choose.  And don’t be lame.  Lattes will just make you fat.  Even the ones with skim milk.  170 calories per cup.  I just looked it up.

(And PS, if you ARE going to pick the lattes over the fun, you should at least buy a local latte—Java Joe’s [which is open till 11 PM on New Years Eve] or L’Aveggio Roasteria.)

OK, now that I’ve used my irresistible powers of persuasion to convince you to be less lame, I’m sure you’re wondering where to start being less lame.

Well don’t panic; I was prepared for this eventuality… crossing from the land of the lame to the place where the rest of us live requires a wee bit of guidance.  And that’s why I have authored the following guide:

“BingPop’s Guide on How Not To Be Lame on New Years Eve in Downtown Binghamton”

Don’t send thanks.  Just send cash.

Now I’ve divided the guide into two parts.  Part 1 is a small selection of official First Night that I recommend for beginners—follow my lead; you’ll be sure to have a good time AND avoid any clunkers.  Part 2 is a list of First Night hangers-on-ers; they’re not official events, but rather really hot venues that are throwing their own New Years parties at the same time as First Night.  In celebration of it being 2010, I’ve invited the promoters of each of these events to explain why they’re throwing the hottest party around—using exactly 10 words—no more, no less.  (I get my warm and fuzzies by asking people to do strange things for free press.)

PART 1
OFFICIAL STUFF TO DO THAT DOESN’T SUCK

People Lighting S*#t on Fire at Midnight
Otherwise known as the Binghamton Bonfire
12:00 Behind the BC Arena
(As described my Larry Kassan, Twilight Zone Expert, Avid Playbill Collector, and Area Culture Geek)
What better way to say good bye to 2009 and hello to 2010 than by attending the First Night Binghamton Bonfire. Held behind the BC Arena at the culmination of the evening’s festivities, the fire (lit by our brave Binghamton Firefighters, "the one time each year they get to start a fire!") is a great way to warm up, cuddle with your friends … or complete strangers, and welcome in the New Year! And best yet, ya don’t need a button to take part! This year there will be a (pardon the pun) smokin’ live band and at midnight, as the State Office Building countdown goes dark floor by floor, the New Year will be welcomed by what used to be called a GIANT (now Weiss) firework display that will light up the night sky!

People Banging Loudly on S*#t to Wake Up the Neighbors
Otherwise known as the Djembe Drum Circle
5:15 at the Binghamton HS Commons
(As described by Rob Wandell, Owner of Imagicka, Otherwise Known As that Guy With the Really Long Curly Hair Who’s Always Banging on African Drums)
Djembe Drum Circle will run an interactive drum class geared for beginners.  Learn the basics and one or two West African rhythms.  The style that he’ll be teaching has roots in Guinea and the Ivory Coast.  It’s relaxing and energizing all at the same time.  “Like taking an acoustic shower.  You’ll come out refreshed, like ‘ahhh’.  We’ll also be part of the Merry Maker’s March, so if you miss the class, you can see us there.”  The Djembe class is full of basic rhythms and therefore perfect for all ages.

People Running Around in a Hamster Ball To Play a Video Game That’s Like 100 Times Better Than Nintendo Wii
Otherwise known as the VirtuSphere Demonstration
5:00 at the Binghamton HS Small Gym
(As described by Jim DiMascio, COO of VirtuSphere, or, as I like to call him, Lord of the Hamster Ball)
Virtusphere is a virtual reality locomotion simulator. The hardware set consists of a hollow sphere, which is placed on a special platform that allows the sphere to rotate freely in any direction according to the user’s steps. First Night attendees will be able to get inside Virtusphere and experience a virtual tour of the historic village of Lavra, Russia by transmitting the virtual enviroment to the wireless head mounted display, attendess will move freely through out the Lavra virtual envirotment creating the most immersive virtual experience. Virtusphere is going to revolutionize virtual reality entertainment which includes allowing people to play inside the favorite games, providing virtual tours for education, museums, fitness and architectural walk through.

World-Renown People Running Around Doing Funny Dances That Will Blow You Away
Otherwise Known as Galumpha
9:45 at the Broome County Forum
(As described by Andy Horowitz, President in the Land of Galumpha. And the most flexible guy I’ve ever talked to over e-mail.)
Galumpha combines acrobatics, striking visual effects, physical comedy and inventive choreography to bring to life a world of imagination, beauty, muscle and merriment. The three performers create a sensory feast of images, drawn together into a seamless whole, consistently bringing audiences to their feet. Galumpha is a triumphant mix of art and entertainment, offering award-winning choreography (Edinburgh Festival Critics Choice Award, Moers International Comedy Arts Prize) at venues throughout the world.  For First Night Galumpha will perform two, 45-minute sets at the Forum Theater in downtown Binghamton at 8:30 and 9:45 PM.  The first set will open with a world premier choreographed and performed by children who participated in last summer’s Galumpha Gang intensive acrobatic dance workshop.  These 20 brave artists will dazzle their audience with creativity and acrobatic prowess.  Following the children’s presentation, the three Galumpha performers will take the stage and finish out the set.  What does Galumpha really do?  Well, we guarantee this:  You will see ways in which one human being can lift another two off the ground that you have never, ever seen before!

Crazy People Hacking up Ice with Chain Saws
Otherwise known as the Ice Sculpting Competition
7:00 at the Broome County Courthouse Lawn
(As described by me, from what I’m reading in the First Night Booklet)
OK, details were a little sketchy on this one, but I’m still recommending it—mainly because it involves a chainsaw.  I think we can all agree that chainsaws on the lawn of the Courthouse Building sound like a fun event, no?  The folks behind this demonstration are the same ones that did ice sculpting in front of a meager audience of onlookers during the rainy-day Communiversityfest.  They’re called “Iceography” and they had a whole mess of talent.  But I should warn you from past experience:  There’s nothing FAST about an ice-sculpting competition.  It’s a group of four people.  Slooooowly making art.  All the same time.  (With a chainsaw.)  Not fast, but beautiful.  And I secretly want to lick the sculptures when they’re done to see if my tongue will stick.

But I’m afraid of the chainsaws.

PART 2
UNOFFICIAL STUFF TO DO THAT EXTRA-DOESN’T SUCK

Now, because it’s going to be 2010, and because I’m a bit weird, I asked the promoters at some of my very favorite Bingo venues to explain in EXACTLY 10 words why they were throwing the hottest New Years Eve parties in the Southern Tier.  As you’ll see, many cheated, through the cunning use of dashes, slashes, and ampersands.  *sigh* Ain’t there no decency left?

Here they are (In alphabetical order.  Because it seemed fairest.  Most fair.  Whatever):

Antonio’s Galleria & Cafe (way out in Endicott…  I know, Endicott!)
Upscale, classy, complimentary champagne, live DJ, outstanding martinis & GELATO!

Cyber Café West
Hottest? Coolest definitely. Monkeys Typing, Chilled Champagne, Funny Hats! Rocking!

The Kilmer Brasserie
Hats & Noisemakers. Champagne Toast. Balloon Drop. Great Music. No Clean-up!

Merlins
Katrina as Dick Clark. All-night liquor. Free Champagne-Toast & Noisemakers.

Southern Tier Young Professionals Dinner Party
Fantastic french buffet with wine, 8pm - 10pm, dress to impress.

Tranquil
Eclectic music! JoshuaB. Free Hors d’oeuvres. Champagne! We mention d’oeuvres?

Yes, it’s true!  I’ll be DJing at Tranquil on New Years Eve.  I like to think I saved the best for last, but you decide for yourself which is best.  Oh, and one last little event I’ll be a part of:  “The Official First Night Mini Countdown”.  You can find it in the Forum starting at 9:30 PM.  The idea is pretty adorable:  Bring the kids, pretend it’s midnight, count backwards from 10, everybody gets to scream and shout, and then you can shuttle them off to bed with a babysitter so you can go back out and do it all over again for the real thing.  OK, maybe they’re not ACTUALLY encouraging you to lie to your children, but that’s what I’d do.  It’d midnight SOMEWHERE in the world at 9:30 PM.  Isn’t it?

Anyway, I’ll see you out on New Years Eve.  And don’t think you can get out of this thing now.  You’ve read the ENTIRE story—and that means you’re committed to the party.  I’ve saved  your IP Address and you’re being tracked.  Don’t think you can use the Internet on New Years Eve without me knowing.  And I have access to ice-sculpting chain saws.

Yes, yes, being the home to IBM, one of the most famous computer companies on the planet is nice.  Having Lockhead Martin, the world’s largest defense contractor, in our backyard might bring some notoriety.  But what I’ve often said—and what has just as often fallen on deaf ears—is that what the Southern Tier really needs to be restored to its full glory is for somebody right here in Binghamton to break a Guinness World Record.  So we end up listed in the Guinness Book. Seriously.

And not one of the more useful or interesting records: world’s oldest man, world’s tallest building, world’s smallest microchip—nobody but eggheads really care about those.  We’re talking one of the really eccentric ones, so we can have our own Trivial Pursuit question or page in Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader: world’s chewiest potato pancake, world’s tallest freestanding badminton net, world’s trendiest tea cozy.  Now we’re talkin.

So when I found out what the Binghamton Mets are planning to do this Friday night, I was positively giddy with the sort of girlish delight that they won’t even allow inside a professional sports stadium.  Even a Double-A affiliate sports stadium.

This Friday, between phases of the Toyota Double Grand Finale Labor Day Weekend Fireworks Kick-off Extravaganza Festival of Pyrotechnic Wonder (I think that’s what it’s called), NYSEG Stadium will attempt to break the world record for the most number of human beings simultaneously howling at the moon.

PS: It’s a full moon that night.  Which should make things easier.  Harder.  Easier.  I’m not really sure which.

In any case, I started to wonder exactly how many howling individuals you could stick inside NYSEG Stadium on a Friday night.  According to Wikipedia, the stadium itself seats 6,012.  So the question then becomes: what exactly is the CURRENT world record for most number of human being simultaneously howling at the moon?

Sadly, a search at http://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/ yielded no results.  Leading me to believe that there is no current record for most number of people howling at the moon.  Leading me to believe that I could break the record right here, right now, in my bedroom, alone.

There, I just did it.  Send me my damn trophy.  Or certificate of appreciation.  Or screen-printed t-shirt.

Clearly, I have to broaden my search.  A Google query yielded two interesting results:

1. On September 7th of 2007, an organization in Sydney, Australia called “Bums for Bush” attempted to break the word’s record for most number of people bearing their asses in protest.  “Mooning”.  Not exactly what I was looking for, but that’s why Google searches are so much fun.  You never know what irrelevant yet delightful facts will result.  Only 50 people showed up for the protest.  Nice try, @ssholes.

Get it?  Nice try, @ssholes?  Cause they were mooning?  Get it?  I know, I know, you got it.  It just wasn’t funny.  *sigh*

2. On October 26th, 2009, a web site called http://www.moonhowlevent.com/ will attempt to organize a giant Planet Wide Moon Howl.  You’re supposed to do this at 9 o’clock in your own local time.  Think of it as a giant planetary stadium wave of howls, one time zone after the next.  The web site suggests that you organize “howl parties”, “howl with somebody special”, or just (and I think this is probably the point of the whole campaign) buy the organic fitted men’s t-shirt at CafePress.com for the low, low price of 24.99.

PS: According to their own counter, only 371 people have visited the web site.  Which if you ask me is a pretty lame planetary howl.  Not to mention a pretty lame t-shirt marketing campaign.

The bottom line is, I don’t know whether or not the Binghamton Mets will be successful in their mission to break the world record for the world’s largest group howl.  I don’t even know what success would be.  I don’t even know if the term “success” should be applied to such a venture.  Yet I still salute the BMets for trying.  It’s nice to have a dream.  Even if the dream involves getting people so plastered on $3 beers that they participate in an activity that will cause them to spend the entire next day untagging embarrassing photos of themselves on Facebook.

Sounds like my kinda party.

Bottoms up.