I had hoped to start this blog entry off with some charmingly folksy tale about the humble beginnings of the American hamburger and explain how Burger Mondays (23 Henry Street), downtown Binghamton’s newest burger joint, fit into that long, beefy tradition.  I had hoped to begin this blog entry that way, but alas, I can not do that.

You see, there’s a stupid amount of drama over who invented the American hamburger.  Drama that is neither charming nor folksy.

What DOES seem clear is that the hamburger draws it’s routes from Hamburg, Germany. Duh. According to Wikipedia (the compendium of all human knowledge that may or may not turn out to be true), the chopped beef creation that eventually became known as the hamburger was brought from Russia to Germany as steak tartare. At some point, somebody must have decided cooking the beef was a neat idea (also that e coli was a fairly terrible idea), and the Hamburg steak was born. Then, in the late 18th century, American street vendors, trying to attract German sailors to their New York harbor stands, started serving the stuff that had been so popular in their homeland.

Here’s where the story gets all mucked up. One version claims that the first American hamburger was sold at a cafe in Athens, Texas. Another says it was found in 1904 at the St Louis World’s Fair. Residents of Hamburg, NY insist it was first grilled up by the Menches brothers at THEIR county fair–but the NY Times disputes this and say the Menches brothers invented it in Akron, Ohio. The Seymour Community Historical Society says their “Hamburger Charlie” cooked it up in Seymour, Wisconson, and the Library of Congress says it happened in New Haven, CT.

See how much server space I’ve already wasted tracing the history of the hamburger? That’s not charming. And the Interweb is going to get angry at me very soon.

So all that’s beside the point. What’s more to the point is that at some point the hamburger went a bit astray. These days, a lot more people end up with greasy, processed patties somewhat laughingly referred to as beef as they’re passed out drive-thru windows–not “Hamburger Charlie’s” delicious recipe. (I’m just going to assume Hamburger Charlie’s recipe was fabulous or else they wouldn’t have caught on.)

Well fear not, Binghamton. The beef pattie had been righted.  And you’re about to get a taste of some seriously yum gourmet American hamburgers.

I was lucky enough to be invited to (well, really, weasled my way into through continual harassment) the friends and family weekend at Burger Mondays this past Saturday afternoon.  The first thing I noticed was obvious: the renovations owner Rob Hutchings and his partners had done since the space housed DC Dunster’s/ZaZu. While I loved nearly everything about ZaZu, the restaurant did feel a bit cavernous inside. And the new dividing wall separates a nicely sized bar area from the seating part of the restaurant. The host stand lives in its own little room as well–THANKFULLY preventing at least a bit of the cold winter breeze from contributing to diner death by hypothermia–an all too common problem in greater Binghamton eateries.

As for the menu: they weren’t screwing around when they named the place Burger Mondays. 10 different designer burgers–with an option to build your own. And if you REALLY believe in your own creation, you can talk to your server about having it added to the menu–clearly, it should be named after you as well, because you’re awesome.  And an egomaniac.

Of course, the term “burger” is somewhat liberally applied here. A “Buffalo Chicken” burger with smoked bleu cheese and celery relish offers an alternative to the beef-fest and an “Ahi Tuna” burger with wasabi aioli is a seafood option. There’s even a choice for you kooky veggie-only-eaters. And no, they didn’t go the Boca Burger route. Seriously, if that’s what you’re after, you’ve got a microwave at home to help torture your taste buds.  (I can say that with authority because I was a vegetarian for 4 years–before I realized how much more delicious chicken nuggets were than morals.) For you veggie folks, Mondays serves up a pesto-marinated portabella mushroom with a balsamic reduction and house aioli called the “Animal Lover”.

Now we have to talk about the most important part of Burger Mondays: the milkshakes. It is highly probable that I’m the only one that feels they’re the most important part, but I’m writing this blog, so you’ll just have to cope.  Seriously though, if you’re going to indulge in gourmet comfort food, you might as well go all the way. Rich, creamy, delicious–I could feel both my waistline and my sense of contentment with life expanding generously. But there are certain milkshakes which overwhelm the sense of guilt you experience for having had them, and this was just such a shake. The day I visited, they were serving free (and rather large) samples of the chocolate, but they promise there’ll be plenty more flavors from which to choose. I’m going to give you some important advice that you can ignore at your own peril: DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT GETTING YOUR FIRST BURGER WITHOUT  A MILKSHAKE. Your inner child will weep buckets of tears of deprivation and I, having shared the preceeding advice, will have no sympathy. None at all.

The Milkshake Sample

(PS, I should mention that all the burgers come with fresh-cut fries. And also house jarred pickles–which are reportedly phenomenal, but which I did not eat. Because I hate pickles. And kind of wish they didn’t exist. Sorry.)

Oh right, so the burgers! My lunchmate Mary Kaminsky and I split the Mondays Original and the Southern BBQ. Both delicious, though flavored quite differently… we spent the rest of the meal arguing which was better: I liked the original and Mary preferred the BBQ, but you won’t go wrong with either. There are also a number of soups and appetizers on the menu (I’m interested to try the farro risotto or orasted garlic cheesecake), but we were pretty stuffed by what came on the burger plate.

I could definitely see a nice bar scene developing at Mondays. Three sizable flat-screen TVs are mounted on the wall–one behind the center of the bar, the other two at each corner–and the bar area is roomy enough to get quite a party going without seriously disturbing the dining area. Mary and I stuck around for a glass of pinot grigio after lunch and the “friends and family” crew were already camped out for a relaxing afternoon.

Of course, one mystery remained: why the name ‘Burger Mondays’–(besides the obvious parity with other days-of-the-week restaurants like ‘Fridays’ and ‘Tuesday’)?  Bonnie Jones, mother to exec chef Matthew G Jones, cleared it all up for us. Apparently, Matt had been working at another restaurant in town where friends gathered to watch football and have dinner on Mondays. The weekly gathering turned into sort of an impromptu burger-making competition, with various cooks working to come up with more and more creative burgers. That night was a partial inspiration for Burger Mondays, which, incidentally, opens today in downtown Bing.

(Rob Hutchings, one of Burger Mondays owners, was insanely busy at post time, but you can expect an interview from him shortly…)