OK, so in like 48 hour, I went from only kinda knowing who Snooki was from scandalous celebrity blog reports to kinda wanting to have like 10 million of her babies.  There’s something undeniably charming about the perfectly stereotypical persona she works so hard to cultivate.  And another thing: she’s actually really polite—an impression totally contrary to anything you’d get from watching the show.  Maybe I was lucky, but I didn’t detect a shred of diva during the relatively short time we spent at a press conference arranged by the Binghamton University Student Association right before her show at the Anderson Center.

I was also pretty amused by the idea that Snooki would hold a “press conference”.  Before arriving, I was trying to imagine a ruckus of reporters shouting “Miss Polizzi” for her attention, followed by somebody breaking through with, “Is it true you REALLY hooked up with Angelina’s man only a couple days after she did?”  The idea that THAT many reporters would crowd into a room to interrogate her was kinda funny.  But there REALLY WERE that many reporters.  Like 20 of them.  In Binghamton.  All competing for her attention.

Luckily, I shout the loudest.  And got to ask her more than my fair share.  So I’ve compiled all of the stuff that I got to ask her myself—and we’ll just pretend I was important enough to get a private interview with the Snookster, k?  Excellent.

So everybody’s talking about you maybe becoming a designer.  Those are the rumors on the blogs.  Is that true?

A designer?  What kind?

A clothing designer.

Clothing.  Slippers.  Jewerly.  Bronzer. 

Everything?

Yeah, why not.

Are you working with anyone yet?

Yeah, I’m working with a couple of companies, but ultimately, I’m the boss.  Whatever I say goes.

Will we see a product soon?

Oh yeah.  My slippers are coming out soon.  The slippers I wore in Miami.  The ones that look like sneakers.  Those are coming out.  They’re comfy.

Talk to us about the novel.  Do you have the plot all worked out?

My novel is called “The Shore Thing.”   Pretty much it’s like, when I go down to the shore.  You party.  Ya know, obviously there’s drama.  You work.  You go down with your friends.  And that’s pretty much how it is.    It’s two girls living in the city and then they went to the shore.  Then they have problems with their ex-boyfriends.  Problems with girls.  Catfights.  Ya know, maybe somebody goes to jail.  I dunno.

Do you have a writing background?  Did you write short stories or this is all new to you?

Oh this is my first book ever that I wrote.

Wow.

Yeah, good luck.

Do you run into people dressed up as Snooki at Halloween parties?

Even if it’s not Halloween, I see girls dressing like me.  This one time, I saw this girl on the boardwalk, and she was wearing slippers.  I was like, what is this girl doing?  I only did that cause I was hungover.  And I didn’t feel like wearing my shoes to work, so I wore my slippers.  I guess I’m a fashion statement now.

Do you read what people blog about you?

No, I just look for pictures.  I don’t really care what people say about me.  I saw that one article where that guy proposed to me and I didn’t even know who he was.  That was weird.  But I see a lot of negative stuff and to be honest with you, it doesn’t really hurt my feelings.  It just makes me feel better about myself, so the haters should keep talking.

Did your dog really pee in the MTV lobby earlier today?

Yeah, and it got kicked out.  My poor doggy.

Could you see yourself going back to a regular, “non-celebrity” lifestyle.  Back to studying to be a vet tech and one day being a vet tech?  And being out of the spotlight?

Oh yeah.  I could definitely.  I wouldn’t be like, “Oh my God, what do I do? I have to go back to work!”  Being a vet tech is like my dream job, so I wouldn’t mind it at all.

If a fan meets you in a club, how can they make a good impression?

The best thing to do is just buy me a drink and be like, “I like Long Islands too.  Let’s get drunk.  Just be normal, ya know.  I’m a normal person.”

What’s the worst thing they can do?

The worst thing they can do is to come up to me and scream and cry in my face.  Cause you’re just gonna freak me out and I’ll run away.

At that point, one of the other reporters asked if Snooki would be sticking around after the show to go out downtown.  She told the disappointed gaggle of media folk that she had to head back home.  The crowd “awwwwwwwed”.  SNOOKI:  But I totally would.  I hear it’s like a big party city here.  (Chuckles from the media people.)  Is anyone drunk right now?

One of the local reporters responded, “A little bit.”

I’m pretty sure he wasn’t joking.