Do you know what I really hate about watching TV?  It’s just too physically taxing.  Sometimes, if the phone rings, I have to lift my arm, reach for the remote, and then use the OTHER hand to hit the mute button.  And then occasionally, if the program I’m watching is just REALLY wretched, I have to it all over again just to change the channel.  Absolutely exhausting.  Just dreadful.

Luckily, British “futurologist” Ian Pearson has a fix; I don’t know what a “futurologist” is exactly, but I suspect it’s what a Star Trek screenwriter does when there aren’t any Trek series on TV.  Pearson says that within the next ten years we’ll have “Contact Lens TVs” that beam Survivor, American Idol, and the OC right onto our retinas.

That’s right, friends.  The next time you see your mate lying askew on the chaise lounge staring off into space with drool running from the corner of his mouth, it is NOT necessarily an overdose.  He’s possibly just enjoying an engagingly written repeat of Baywatch.  Pearson proposes that the “eye TV” would be controlled through wild arm-flailing—well, what he calls it “gestures”.  And that the TV would be powered through the harnessing of your body heat.

Oh, but wait, it gets better.  In addition to your “eye TV”, you’d receive a “digital tattoo” that would allow the show to manipulate your emotions—he says that it would allow “James Bond fans to feel the thrill of outdoing the enemy.”  Of all the things Bond experiences in an average film, I think you’d find something more enticing to feel than “outdoing the enemy”.

Pearson made headlines when he said that the technology exists to make all this happen inside of ten years.  Whatever.  I’m still waiting for my jet pack.