There’s always that one jerk at your Oscar party; you know the one.  He’s rooting for just ONE movie because he’s only SEEN one movie; for Best Picture, Best Actor, Best Director, Best Screenplay.  If there were an award for Best Key Grip, he’d want that one movie to win that award too.  And he doesn’t even know what a Key Grip does.  How do you know that?  Because you asked him.  And he didn’t know.  The jerk.

Don’t be an Oscar Jerk.  See all the movies.  You’ve still got time.  And they’re all (FINALLY) playing within an hour of Bing thanks to the Art Mission, Endicott Cinema Saver, and Regal.  (Where’s AMC at???  Oh well; they have good popcorn.)

I’ve seen three so far.  And here’s what I think of them, in order of least sucky to most sucky.

Frost/Nixon
SEE IT AT REGAL, ITHACA
Plot summary: Jerkface president commits crime.  Jerkface president never admits he’s wrong.  Playboy TV host wants to interview Jerkface president.  Jerkface president accepts cause he’s low on cash.  Playboy TV host corners president into admitting he’s a jerkface.

Frost/Nixon moves quick, has got entertaining characters, phenomenal actors, and great direction.  For history/politics dorks, this movie is entertaining as hell.  But if you’re looking for typical Hollywood fluff, you might want to check out Slumdog Millionaire.  It’s basically every James Cameron film you’ve ever seen, but set in India.

Milk
SEE IT AT THE ART MISSION, DOWNTOWN BING
Plot summary: Closety gay guy meets man in subway.  Man convinces guy to move to San Francisco and open camera shop.  Guy opens camera shop but has no rights.  Guy runs for political office 3 times and fails.  Guy finally gets into office.  Total jerkface other guy shoots first guy dead and gets off by saying he ate too many Twinkies.

This film did not win an endorsement from the Hostess company.

Milk has such brilliant acting that you’re driven crazy by the fact that the script doesn’t measure up.  Political dorks will be frustrated that the film doesn’t explain more about the politics; the romantics will be annoyed because you never learn why Milk is drawn to such dysfunctional relationships.  It’s not that the script is BAD; it just that it isn’t INCREDIBLE, and you want it to be.

Oh well.

Slumdog Millionaire
SEE IT AT REGAL, FRONT STREET BING
Plot Summary: Boy grows up in Mumbai, India.  Total jerkfaces kill boy’s mom in religious squabble.  Boy scrapes by as con artist and becomes obsessed with orphan girl.  Boy loses track of orphan girl and ends up appearing on the Indian Who Wants to Be a Millionaire.  I’ll leave out the rest of the plot because the ending is the only one of the three that can’t be looked up in a history book.

Slumdog Millionaire is a Hollywood epic set in India.  It’s a pretty standard but well-constructed romantic adventure.  In other words, it was nominated for the same reason films like Titanic are nominated—they entertain a whole lot of people because they’re relatable and have charismatic stars.

If you’re looking for “profound”, don’t see Slumdog Millionaire.  Go see Doubt.  It wasn’t nominated for Best Picture, but it should have been.

BTW, I tried to see “The Reader” yesterday at the Art Mission, but couldn’t because it was sold out.  Get there early.  "Benjamin Button" is playing at the Cinema Saver.