Binghamton: Stop. Working. Now.
It’s true, Southern Tier, you COULD get ahead in these crappy economic times through hard work, dedication, loyalty, and a can-do spirit.
But seriously, who needs that? Just fake it.
Take one Jill Hull, a postal carrier from Livingston County, Michigan. She’s got this s&#t down.
Overwhelmed by the workload, and apparently frightened that she might miss the first five minutes of American Idol, did what any of us might have done to avoid missing even a moment of that dreamy Ryan Seacrest:
She rented a storage unit and DUMPED the undelivered mail inside.
And she would have gotten away with it too, if not for those darned kids. Well, the postal investigator. Who only caught up with her because she stopped paying the bill on the storage unit. She had planned to catch up on the unpaid bill and hide the letters “UNTIL SHE DIED”.
Last March, the Postal Service sent out a memo REMINDING their employees that “you don’t have to be a genius to know” that stealing mail is a crime. On the side of the memo? A picture of Albert Einstein. As if the postal service was concerned that without the picture, some of their employees would have to look up the word “genius”. Because the reminder wasn’t demeaning enough.
When i lived in Chicago circa 1996, stories about undelivered mail were in the paper weekly. Postal carriers throwing it under porches, burning it, leaving it in the back of their trucks for months at a time, storing it in the attics of their homes etc. It was so out of hand that Jonathan Franzen (the author of The Corrections) has a piece about it in his essay collection. So just one instance? These people don’t know how to slack.